Posts Tagged With: Prayer

New Zealand Bound!

 

I have some exciting news to share! Instead of doing the first part of our outreach tour in Hong Kong, my school leader has decided that will be traveling in New Zealand with the founder of YWAM! We will be spending the month of April touring and serving in New Zealand, and then spend May and June in South Korea! Below is a portion of a letter from my fabulas school leader, Maria Jackson.

DEAR STUDENTS,
WE ARE SO EXCITED TO MEET YOU ALL SO VERY SOON.:)

TODAY, ONE THING WE MADE DECISION FOR OUR OUTREACH LOCATION.
THAT IS, WE WILL NOT GO TO HONG KONG BECAUSE DOOR IS NOT OPENING.
BUT OUR YWAM FOUNDER LOREN CUNNINGHAM WANTS US TO TOUR WITH HIM TO NEW ZEALAND ONE MONTH OF APRIL.
SO TODAY WE MADE DECISION WITH HIM.
NOW OUR OUTREACH TOUR NATIONS WILL BE NEW ZEALAND AND S.KOREA.
WE ARE SO VERY EXCITED FOR YOU AND IT IS UNUSUALLY SMALL SCHOOL.
AND WE WILL HAVE 21 STUDENTS AND 13 STAFF. SO ALL TOGETHER WE WILL BE 34 OF US!

This news is so exciting for me! I am so at peace about going on my DTS, even though my health has been in question.  I have faith that God will provide what I need for this trip; physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially.  Please for continue to pray for me, I am definitely experiencing some spiritual warfare.  The devil can try to keep me home, but its NOT GOING TO WORK!

Blessing friends, hope you Christmas is peaceful 🙂

Categories: Preparing for Kona | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Rewind: All For You

 This is a song I wrote while listening to a sermon at church with my grandma.  I posted it on my personal blog “Choosing Joy” on November 25th, 2011.  I have been meditating on these works a lot lately! All based of scripture!

All For You

By Heather McClish – The Corpse Butterfly 

Verse 1:

       D                                  A                         Bm

I am strong in the Lord who sees past my sin,

         G                                 A

Who sees the few strengths in me.

             D                   A                 Bm

He has a purpose for my life that is good,

Em          F#m          G           A

He has a plan that I cannot see.

Chorus:

G     A      Bm        G2       A

All for you, make me all for you

                 G2             D                     G2   Asus    A

Build me strong, fill me up, help me shine for you

                G       A       Bm           F#m       A     Bm

For I know that your plan has a start and an end

            G                    D

I am yours, you are  mine

              E     E7     C2    G     A

I am beautiful to you

Verse 2:

D                            A                         Bm

I will trust in the Lord who longs for my life,

           G                                      A

Who wants to make beauty from pain.

  D                      A                     Bm

He owes me nothing and I owe it all.

  Em                 F#m        G        A

Redeemed by him it is all my gain.

Verse 3:

                    D                     A                          Bm           

I am loved by the Lord, who sees my heart,

             G                               A

My heart that is prone to wrong.

            D            A                Bm

I am nothing own my so this be my cry:

Em             F#m              G           A

My life is God’s and to him I belong

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Post Thanksgiving Update

Laughing...because sometimes the life of Heather is just unbelievable.

Laughing…because sometimes the life of Heather is just unbelievable.

Dear friends,

I am coming home from the Tri-Cities tomorrow and I NEED HELP! I have been very successful with Black Friday Shopping and have been able to get most of my Christmas/thank you gifts for people and a lot of new comfy/workout clothes for Kona. I got some new bed sheets and towels for my move also! I have been advice to get what I can here for cheap because everything is so expensive in Hawaii. So now I just need to sort everything out! I need to sort: what I am planning on bring to Kona, what clothes I am going try to sell, what items I can use for my next fundraiser or donate to my Grandma’s House, what items I need to put into storage, and what things go together to make nice Christmas gifts!

This is fun work, guys! And I have tons of yummy food to feed you and old things to give you if you so desire! But I do need help staying focused and lifting things. I also have finals week after next and need help studying! I actually enjoy my classes and homework, its just really helpful having someone with me keeping my on track and quizzing me.

I am sad to announce that I am having more health issues. I will not get into the nature of this yet because at this point there are a lot of unknowns…which is so frustrating! So my Go Fund Me site I would say is about half missions funding and half medical funding…crazy. I am excited to be ending my second day without any Dr./Urgent Care/ER visits…but I know it all will continue once I get home again. What I can say right now is that my right wrist is still giving me trouble (its is still obviously sprained/dislocated), I am very low iron and I seem to be having some heart trouble.

One more crazy hiccup in my life…my beautiful purse was stolen/lost on the bus on Tuesday! Yes, I have checked in with my bank. Yes, I have emailed Trimet. NOTHING! Finally I had all my IDs and cards in one place…then ALL GONE. Fortunately I still have my phone and keys.

So, here are the prayer/help as you can needs for right now:

  • That my purse will be returned
  • That I will have clarity concerning health decisions
  • That I will be able to focus and do well during finals
  • That I will be blessed with helpers to get things done; even the simple things are so hard sometimes
  • That my friends will be able to understand my needs and help me, especially financially
  • That I will be able to get on a good sleep rhythm
  • That I will be able to have good boundaries with certain people, no matter how much I love them
  • That I will have the energy and focus to get the important things done
  • That I will be thankful for many people and things I have been blessed with
  • That I will rely on GOD NO MATTER WHAT

I have several new blog posts in the works, including a Thanksgiving thankful post, and a recap of the Swing Dance Fundraiser…WITH PICTURES!  But this is what I have got for now. As much as I hate admitting it, I need help.

Keep updated with my Fundraising Site and Facebook Page, and of course for all my silly and/or deep thoughts on Twitter.

Blessings on you all!

Categories: Preparing for Kona, Right Now | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Rewind: Coffee Shop Ponderings

During the past few months, and years of that matter, I have spent a lot of time in various coffee shops. Coffee shops are good for a lot of different things.  They are good for charging laptops.  They are good public places to stay safe in. Some coffee shops are open in the early morning, some are open late at night, some don’t close at all.  This was some writing I did at a Starbucks in March. I was very frustrated because I had set up an ideal surrounding for myself to write, but then I couldn’t find anything to say.  I ended up writing like this for a while…”free writing” of sorts…and then went home very frazzled. In reality I was still getting some medications sorted out.

Anyway…take a peek tonight into the (sometimes frustrating) mind of Heather. Go ahead, and then tell me what you think!

Tonight is a night of pondering.

Thinking.

Evening Walking.

Caramel Latte. 

Jars of Clay. 

Reading.

Blogging.

I wish I had the ability to take what is in my head and get it in words on this screen. There is so much I am longing to say, I just can’t seem to interpret it into words. I feel isolated. Trapped within my own mind, raging to get out. Where is God when I need him? In the words of Psalm 42, why are you cast down, oh my soul?

Failure.

Loser.

Their talking about you. Nobody like you. What a joke.

Where’s my camp? Where is my safe haven? Nowhere. It doesn’t exist.

God, be good to me. I’m trusting you will unmuddle my head soon.

I can’t feel you. You’re a cement wall in the sky.  Frustration. Anger. Every emotion at once. Why is the writing thing sooooo hard? Why can’t I interpret what’s in my head?

Tebo’s.

Dance.

“Darkness is my closest friend.”

My story is one of uncertainty.

Nicotine and Caffeine.

I’m losing it…

Jesus I’m crying out to you. Cover me. Help me function. I can’t do this on my own. Send me an angel of hope.

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Welcome to the HeartBridge Performing Arts & Media DTS!

Aloha and Welcome to HeartBridge, Performing Arts & Media DTS!

We are so very happy to accept you as one of our 2014, JANUARY quarter DTS students! You are an answer to our prayers, by join our calling to Know God and Make Him Known through the Arts and Media.

Friday, January 3 /  There will be orientation and a welcoming Celebration. ( We are encouraging every students to bring one small gift from your nation to present to the Lord as gift in this day. 

Monday, January 6 / Our first full week of lectures begins.

Right from week 1 (Jan.6) – week 12 ( March28) the daily schedule will include Lecture content, plus Skills Training, which involves learning/rehearsing 1-hour long production called “Coming Home. If you want a glimpse, check our website:   www.goheartbridge.com  or www.uofnkona.edu  – Performing Art (we will give you the weekly schedule on Arrival Day.)

Then,  March 30 – June 30 will be tour ( Outreach ) to the Hong Kong ? and South Korea for 3 months. ( Cost is $6,000 )- Please open to change. We are still praying.

( We might have HeartBridge Company extended tour in Korea for one or two more months. )

During week one, it is our custom to hold auditions for every student to try anything you want. That will help our very experienced staff to identify your best gift for JESUS.

Many students have been asking what date they should book their return home. I recommend scheduling your return ticket home some time around July. 1-3.

And we might recruit few people for “Heartbridge Company” extended one or two more months tour in same nation we are ending if we see your skill level is intermediate to pro and character is mature.  Also we will have time to recruit for next our staff.  Then if you want to move into next YWAM, Kona Staff or other courses then YOU need to Change the date for your return ticket later.

For your information, we also have an incredible continual secondary school Biblical Foundation for the Art ( Sep. ) & School of Performing Art 1 ( Jan.) scheduled to start as module course towards AA or BA degree for the U of N, that may serve as the perfect warm up for you to join our two-year Performing Arts degree track called “Center Stage,” which runs from early as September , 2013. Please check the course info :www.uofnkona.edu and you can register through online after completed your DTS.

We welcome any student who has successfully completed the PADTS to audition for our full-time performing arts company called HeartBridge if your Art skill is  intermediate or professional level with mature character .

Well, we are so excited to see you soon and pray for you that God will protect you and provide everything you need.  May all your friends and families will blessed by your obedience to God!

Friends, I am humbled and overwhelmed.  These last couple days God is making his plan so clear.  His timing is not our timing, his ways are not our ways.  But he does have our joys and dreams in mind.

Categories: Preparing for Kona, Right Now | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Have to Speak

This morning I got a letter from a distant relative who read my most recent blog post Rewind and Right Now: Lost Within Myself.  They are true, honest words, and I offer them here for whoever they may speak to, not just me.  Read and receive, my friends.

Also, I have added a new category to my blog entitled Right Now, which will include posts like this one, which do not directly relate to my trip.  I do think it is helpful to talk about these sorts of issues before my trip however, for I will need to know how to deal with it when it inevitably comes up while I am in Kona or on outreach.

“Oh my dear Heather, you don’t realize what a precious soul you are. It probably doesn’t help to have some distant relative say that you are not alone; you are very loved. But as one who has lived in hopeless hell for years, I have to speak. Your emotions know that are taking a huge step, and IT IS scary. If I can offer just one piece of advice, please don’t decide that you are letting anyone down by feeling your emotions. Unless they start to damage you, it’s OK to acknowledge and embrace them. God put them there, and without them, we would be very shallow people. Your pain today will give you deep insights into the hurting people you will meet. I know these words won’t stop the pain. Funny thing about strong negative emotions is they won’t won’t let you feel the love and support we want to give you. PS You are FAR more in touch with your inner feelings than most folks who do this kind of thing. It’s pure terror now, but as distant third party, I’m actually excited to see the person you will be in a year or two from now.” 

We are not alone friends, no matter how alone we feel.  God is with us, and we all have at least one person who loves us. That’s what I’m holding on to tonight.

Categories: Right Now | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Rewind and Right Now: Lost Within Myself

I’m going to be honest here, thus week has been challenging.  Due to some unexpected recent events I have been experiencing PTSD.  I have been having some every similar emotions as expressed in the piece I wrote in mid-February if this past year.

Nothing makes me happy right now. Really truly happy. I smiled when I talked to Hannah on the phone, I chuckled at dance when Benny the dog was being silly.  But where is that complete feeling that I used to know? I used to feel full, but now I’m empty, and I’m not sure what will fill me up again.

Is Jesus enough? I sincerely believe that he is a God that can do all things, but does that mean that we depend on only him? Are those pills that I have learned to resent part of God’s will for me?

A woman that I look up to always tells me that “we are rulers of our own destiny.” I think there is truth in this, yet where does God’s sovereignty fit in? I want to have a successful life, I have dreams and goals. But I’m not there yet. I’m stuck in the here and now, where sleeping feels good, living takes work and God feels so far away.

When I can think clearly enough, these are the questions I am asking. Yet for the last few days (or weeks), thinking clearly is rare. My thoughts conflict, and stress comes rushing in like a whirlwind. I want help, I need something to change. I don’t know what that looks like, and I’m scared.

 My 18th birthday is quickly approaching, and I’m moving out this Saturday. This new freedom is something I have dreamed of for years, bu suddenly, its scary. Maybe that is normal? Maybe I just won’t know until I’m there.

Well, I have to be up and moving in six hours, so I should probably wrap up my rambling. Maybe this has done some good? Maybe I will awake with renewed energy and motivation? Somehow I doubt it. For now I will give in to sleep and hope for a better day tomorrow. Help me Jesus, I am lost within myself. Teach me to find myself in you. 

Thank you for reading my friends. Please don’t hesitate at all to send a prayer in my name! Please do! These are hard days, everything aches and hurts.

Blessings!

Categories: Preparing for Kona, Rewind, Right Now | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Rewind: The Plan You Have For Me

This is the first post that will fall under the category “Rewind.” These posts will feature past writings of mine.  Some pieces will come from my private blog entitled “Choosing Joy,” which I have written on sporadically for the past few years. Some pieces I have not shared with anyone yet.  Through “Rewind” posts, I will get to share things that I have wanted to share in the past, or what I have never dared to share more publicly until now.  You will get to learn more about me and the different walks I have been taken on in my life.

The first piece I will share is a poem called “The Plan You Have For Me. ” I posted it on “Choosing Joy” on January 27th, 2013, which was the beginning of a very rough place for me.  I had a lot of questions, and not a lot of answers.  Typical to the Pacific North West, at this time shadows were many, and sunlight was rare and still cold.

Give me ears to hear

Give me eyes to see

Give me a heart to understand

The plan you have for me

 

Open up my mind

Set my bound soul free

Give me patience to wait for it

The plan you have for me

 

Release me from my fear

Break my anxiety

Focus me upon your dream

The plan you have for me

 

You are all I need

Your love, it sets me free

Thank you for your perfect plan

The plan you have for me

Does this poem spark any emotions or memories for you? Have there been life questions that you have asked that you have found the answer to in a far later time?  Do you have thoughts of the idea of God having a plan for our lives?  Don’t hesitate to comment, and of course, thank you for reading! God bless you!

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