Posts Tagged With: Lord

Be Still and Know That I am God

“Be still and know that I am God,

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalms 46:10

Be Still…translated from the Hebrew word râphâh, which literal means cease, fail, idle, let alone, slack and to be weak or slothful.

Think about those English words for a moment.  Do they sound like good things to do?  Not in the culture!  In our present age, it is all about being the fastest and most efficient.  We strive to be self-suffocate, independent people.  Its all about how much we can do do do, to be there best best BEST!  Busy…has somehow become the new happy.  But it isn’t very happy at all.

From reading Psalm 46, it sure doesn’t sound like God’s idea of happy either.  Apparently, God wants us to slow down…stop and think if him.   This is does not come natural to me, this has been my struggle for the past couple months. 

I am different than a lot of people; I’m an odd combo, an oxi-moron.  I am a major extrovert…with some major depression.  What does this mean? It means I get my high from people.  Being with my friends, feeling connected and in the middle of whatever is happening is better than any drug for me. I can be physically and even mentally exhausted to no end, but when I’m with a big group of my friends, I become an energized social butterfly!  For a lot of people this type of situation can be overwhelming and exhausting, but normally it isn’t for me.  With some friends by my side…I’m on top of the world. But when I’m all alone; doing homework, riding the bus, trying to fall asleep…there’s a different side of me.  Its a sad, lonely, confused Heather.  There are few that have seen this side of me, which isn’t even really on purpose.  Its just the people that know me well enough to be spending time in a one on one setting who see glimpses of the depressed side of me.  For years I have had everyone fooled, thinking a was happy as all get out, and I wasn’t even trying to fool them!  Because I DO have great moments and I HAVE been blessed by a lot of things.  But for some reason, whether its by nature or nurture,  I can have a great night with friends and still cry myself to sleep that night.

This is one of the reasons why it so hard for me to follow the Lord’s instructions and “be still.”  Being busy is probably my greatest coping mechanism.  It isn’t very healthy, but its better than some of my alternatives, and it looks great.  When I have to hold yourself together to be busy, nobody gets to know how sad I am…including myself.  When I’m busy, with often very good things, I get to hide from my emotions.

I have been living the functional yet dysfunctional lifestyle since September.  Now, the school term is over, I am not working or dancing.  I have twenty days to get ready to go on my trip, but not much else going on.  While it should feel like a relief, and it does a little, it is actually very scary.  I feel like I am going through withdrawals from school…because at school I have so many friends and so I love it.  I am dreading this holiday season, because it has such bittersweet memories, but mostly, because it is suppose to be a time of rest.  And for me, resting means I have to feel.

A lot has happened to me over the past few months.  There have been very hard things happen, but I had to keep going, because I was busy.  There were always places to go, people to see, no time to be sad and cry.  Now it is different, I can’t be numb anymore.  I know that is going to be good for me, but honestly, it really stinks.  I pulled things together really well, and now I have to un-pull-it-together so that I don’t completely fall apart while on my missions trip!  Honestly…I don’t even know where to start, except by writing this post.  And by remembering that verse, meditating on that day and night. Tonight, that is what I am trying to do.

 

Categories: Preparing for Kona, Right Now | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rewind: All For You

 This is a song I wrote while listening to a sermon at church with my grandma.  I posted it on my personal blog “Choosing Joy” on November 25th, 2011.  I have been meditating on these works a lot lately! All based of scripture!

All For You

By Heather McClish – The Corpse Butterfly 

Verse 1:

       D                                  A                         Bm

I am strong in the Lord who sees past my sin,

         G                                 A

Who sees the few strengths in me.

             D                   A                 Bm

He has a purpose for my life that is good,

Em          F#m          G           A

He has a plan that I cannot see.

Chorus:

G     A      Bm        G2       A

All for you, make me all for you

                 G2             D                     G2   Asus    A

Build me strong, fill me up, help me shine for you

                G       A       Bm           F#m       A     Bm

For I know that your plan has a start and an end

            G                    D

I am yours, you are  mine

              E     E7     C2    G     A

I am beautiful to you

Verse 2:

D                            A                         Bm

I will trust in the Lord who longs for my life,

           G                                      A

Who wants to make beauty from pain.

  D                      A                     Bm

He owes me nothing and I owe it all.

  Em                 F#m        G        A

Redeemed by him it is all my gain.

Verse 3:

                    D                     A                          Bm           

I am loved by the Lord, who sees my heart,

             G                               A

My heart that is prone to wrong.

            D            A                Bm

I am nothing own my so this be my cry:

Em             F#m              G           A

My life is God’s and to him I belong

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Ponder With Me For Awhile

Ponder with me for awhile…

  • If Jesus came back today, would you rise to meet him in the air? Are you ready and waiting, are you’re affairs squared away?
  • Do you daily practice seeing the best in people? Do you see the people in you’re life as who they are, not gay or straight, catholic or protestant, black or white, male or female? Do you love you’re neighbor as yourself?
  • What does it mean to be clean before the Lord? Does one’s purity really depend on their physical body?  Is it possible for us as humans to learn to see each other as the Lord sees us, clean if we are in him?

And now maybe a few harder questions, possibly blunter than is conformable for some. But nevertheless, questions that need to asked, that must be mulled over. Please join me in wondering…

Do you refrain from jumping from conclusions about the people around you?

  • Those wondering hands? They have been taught that fondling is the only way to love.
  • That loud mouth? Its under the influence of substances and doesn’t even know it yet.
  • Those cut up arms? They Bleed because they eyes attached can’t cry tears.
  • The girl you call skinny? She knows that she resembles a corpse and no, skeletons are not considered pretty.
  • The dark makeup? It covers the dark circles caused by dozens of sleepless nights.
  • The panicky eyes? They have seen more in their few years than most in a lifetime.

Join me today in my questions. Think before you speak. But please, do speak. Somebody needs to. 

Categories: Right Now | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rewind: Children of the Light

Posted on my personal blog, “Choosing Joy”  on January 26th, 2013

 

 

From Darkness To Light

Eph 5:1  Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

Eph 5:2  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 

Eph 5:8  for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 

Eph 5:9  (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),

Eph 5:10  and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 

Eph 5:11  Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.  

Eph 5:13  But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 

Eph 5:14  for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, 

“Awake, O sleeper, 

and arise from the dead, 

and Christ will shine on you.” 

 

Recently I have been studying and meditating on Ephesians 4:17-5:21, entitled “Living as Children of the Light.”  These are the verses that have especially stuck out to me. I love the that Christ is the light of the world (John 8:12) and that there really no such thing as darkness.  Darkness is simply the absence of light, just how those of this world live in the absence of Christ. I also love how the Tabernacle from the old testament was lit up inside by seven lamps reflecting on the gold interior (Exodus 37:17-24), as a visual that true light is from the Lord, as reveled by Christ in his teachings.  Also, when Moses was in the presence of the Lord on Mt. Sinai, his face was radiant because he had seen the Lord face to face (Exodus 34:29).  This demonstrates the figurative way that Christ radiates through him when we are in him; when we are children of the light. The word for “light” in this passage is the Greek word φῶς (phōs) which is not the word that would describe how the sun or another object shines, but is usually used in reference to God. Another way that the last phrase of Ephesians 5:14 can be translated is “and Christ will give thee light.” Christ shines his glory upon us who are in him, but also illuminates our lives, we become translucent and Christ radiates through us.  As the light exposes ourselves, Christ becomes evident in us as we daily die to sin and awake to our identity in the Lord. 


I am encouraged by the fact that God chooses to use me to radiate his light if I remain in him! The rest of this passage shows what it looks like to be a child of the Light, but in short, we are to imitate Christ and the way that Jesus lived. What an honor to bear his essence, I am truly blessed to be a blessing. If only everyone could understand the honor that we have received to be considered children of God, children of the first, true and only light.


 

I am blessed to be the hands your grace

I am blessed that one day I will see your face

Your face that is the light of the world

Your face will be all I see…

Blessings on you today, may you too learn and desire to live as a child of the light!

Categories: Rewind | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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