Posts Tagged With: Jesus

Moments Away…Ready For Something New

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The time has come. Seven hours until the new year, 38 hours until I step on the plane to Kona, Hawaii.  And while I still have a lot to do, I’m so ready. Ready for the emotional and physical roller coaster of 2013 to be finally over; ready for the island breeze of 2014 to rush over my body.

My take-away from this year? Simple: God’s plan is NOT my plan, of which I am so thankful for.  2013 has been about my expectations being ground to dust, to make room for things so much better. There is no way I could have anticipated the mountains I would climb this year, and as hard as it was, I’m glad I climbed them.  I have found my victory is Jesus.

This new years, I’m focusing on what is coming, instead of what has past. I’m focusing on the blessings instead of the valleys. I could talk forever about the lessons I’ve learned this year, but I have neither the time or energy.  For now I’m simply looking forward: to the new friends I will meet, the new lessons I will learn, the new places I will see, and most importantly, the new ways I will grow closer to God. Because I’ve learned when everything is stripped away, he alone matters.

These past few weeks I have been meditating on the words from the Valley Song by Jars of Clay:

While we wait, for a rescue, with our eyes tightly shut,

face to the ground, using our hands, to cover the fatal cut.
And though the pain is an ocean, tossing us, around, around, around,
You have calmed greater waters, and higher mountains have come down.

I will sing of Your Mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow, to rivers of joy…

 

Thank you dear friends for reading and keeping up with me! I am so excited to share with you about new adventure! Stay tuned for updates while I am in Kona! New Years blessings on you!

Categories: Preparing for Kona, Right Now | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Rewind: All For You

 This is a song I wrote while listening to a sermon at church with my grandma.  I posted it on my personal blog “Choosing Joy” on November 25th, 2011.  I have been meditating on these works a lot lately! All based of scripture!

All For You

By Heather McClish – The Corpse Butterfly 

Verse 1:

       D                                  A                         Bm

I am strong in the Lord who sees past my sin,

         G                                 A

Who sees the few strengths in me.

             D                   A                 Bm

He has a purpose for my life that is good,

Em          F#m          G           A

He has a plan that I cannot see.

Chorus:

G     A      Bm        G2       A

All for you, make me all for you

                 G2             D                     G2   Asus    A

Build me strong, fill me up, help me shine for you

                G       A       Bm           F#m       A     Bm

For I know that your plan has a start and an end

            G                    D

I am yours, you are  mine

              E     E7     C2    G     A

I am beautiful to you

Verse 2:

D                            A                         Bm

I will trust in the Lord who longs for my life,

           G                                      A

Who wants to make beauty from pain.

  D                      A                     Bm

He owes me nothing and I owe it all.

  Em                 F#m        G        A

Redeemed by him it is all my gain.

Verse 3:

                    D                     A                          Bm           

I am loved by the Lord, who sees my heart,

             G                               A

My heart that is prone to wrong.

            D            A                Bm

I am nothing own my so this be my cry:

Em             F#m              G           A

My life is God’s and to him I belong

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Rewind: Coffee Shop Ponderings

During the past few months, and years of that matter, I have spent a lot of time in various coffee shops. Coffee shops are good for a lot of different things.  They are good for charging laptops.  They are good public places to stay safe in. Some coffee shops are open in the early morning, some are open late at night, some don’t close at all.  This was some writing I did at a Starbucks in March. I was very frustrated because I had set up an ideal surrounding for myself to write, but then I couldn’t find anything to say.  I ended up writing like this for a while…”free writing” of sorts…and then went home very frazzled. In reality I was still getting some medications sorted out.

Anyway…take a peek tonight into the (sometimes frustrating) mind of Heather. Go ahead, and then tell me what you think!

Tonight is a night of pondering.

Thinking.

Evening Walking.

Caramel Latte. 

Jars of Clay. 

Reading.

Blogging.

I wish I had the ability to take what is in my head and get it in words on this screen. There is so much I am longing to say, I just can’t seem to interpret it into words. I feel isolated. Trapped within my own mind, raging to get out. Where is God when I need him? In the words of Psalm 42, why are you cast down, oh my soul?

Failure.

Loser.

Their talking about you. Nobody like you. What a joke.

Where’s my camp? Where is my safe haven? Nowhere. It doesn’t exist.

God, be good to me. I’m trusting you will unmuddle my head soon.

I can’t feel you. You’re a cement wall in the sky.  Frustration. Anger. Every emotion at once. Why is the writing thing sooooo hard? Why can’t I interpret what’s in my head?

Tebo’s.

Dance.

“Darkness is my closest friend.”

My story is one of uncertainty.

Nicotine and Caffeine.

I’m losing it…

Jesus I’m crying out to you. Cover me. Help me function. I can’t do this on my own. Send me an angel of hope.

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Ponder With Me For Awhile

Ponder with me for awhile…

  • If Jesus came back today, would you rise to meet him in the air? Are you ready and waiting, are you’re affairs squared away?
  • Do you daily practice seeing the best in people? Do you see the people in you’re life as who they are, not gay or straight, catholic or protestant, black or white, male or female? Do you love you’re neighbor as yourself?
  • What does it mean to be clean before the Lord? Does one’s purity really depend on their physical body?  Is it possible for us as humans to learn to see each other as the Lord sees us, clean if we are in him?

And now maybe a few harder questions, possibly blunter than is conformable for some. But nevertheless, questions that need to asked, that must be mulled over. Please join me in wondering…

Do you refrain from jumping from conclusions about the people around you?

  • Those wondering hands? They have been taught that fondling is the only way to love.
  • That loud mouth? Its under the influence of substances and doesn’t even know it yet.
  • Those cut up arms? They Bleed because they eyes attached can’t cry tears.
  • The girl you call skinny? She knows that she resembles a corpse and no, skeletons are not considered pretty.
  • The dark makeup? It covers the dark circles caused by dozens of sleepless nights.
  • The panicky eyes? They have seen more in their few years than most in a lifetime.

Join me today in my questions. Think before you speak. But please, do speak. Somebody needs to. 

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Rewind: Children of the Light

Posted on my personal blog, “Choosing Joy”  on January 26th, 2013

 

 

From Darkness To Light

Eph 5:1  Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

Eph 5:2  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 

Eph 5:8  for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 

Eph 5:9  (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),

Eph 5:10  and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 

Eph 5:11  Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.  

Eph 5:13  But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 

Eph 5:14  for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, 

“Awake, O sleeper, 

and arise from the dead, 

and Christ will shine on you.” 

 

Recently I have been studying and meditating on Ephesians 4:17-5:21, entitled “Living as Children of the Light.”  These are the verses that have especially stuck out to me. I love the that Christ is the light of the world (John 8:12) and that there really no such thing as darkness.  Darkness is simply the absence of light, just how those of this world live in the absence of Christ. I also love how the Tabernacle from the old testament was lit up inside by seven lamps reflecting on the gold interior (Exodus 37:17-24), as a visual that true light is from the Lord, as reveled by Christ in his teachings.  Also, when Moses was in the presence of the Lord on Mt. Sinai, his face was radiant because he had seen the Lord face to face (Exodus 34:29).  This demonstrates the figurative way that Christ radiates through him when we are in him; when we are children of the light. The word for “light” in this passage is the Greek word φῶς (phōs) which is not the word that would describe how the sun or another object shines, but is usually used in reference to God. Another way that the last phrase of Ephesians 5:14 can be translated is “and Christ will give thee light.” Christ shines his glory upon us who are in him, but also illuminates our lives, we become translucent and Christ radiates through us.  As the light exposes ourselves, Christ becomes evident in us as we daily die to sin and awake to our identity in the Lord. 


I am encouraged by the fact that God chooses to use me to radiate his light if I remain in him! The rest of this passage shows what it looks like to be a child of the Light, but in short, we are to imitate Christ and the way that Jesus lived. What an honor to bear his essence, I am truly blessed to be a blessing. If only everyone could understand the honor that we have received to be considered children of God, children of the first, true and only light.


 

I am blessed to be the hands your grace

I am blessed that one day I will see your face

Your face that is the light of the world

Your face will be all I see…

Blessings on you today, may you too learn and desire to live as a child of the light!

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With You in Spirit Tonight

Here’s another letter from a relative I received today. God is with us!!!

 

 

 

I remember swing parties and will be with you in spirit tonight, even though we are separated by some 66 years and an entire continent. I’m also excited for you as you prepare for your Great Adventure and will be mailing a contribution soon. 
 
I will also read your blog and email you from time to time. (I’m not a big Facebook fan.) When I turned 18, I had just finished my first year at Lindenwood College, a small Presbyterian school in St. Charles, MO, just outside St. Louis. I was on my own for the first time and loved every minute of it.
♥♥♥
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Rewind: My Journey Towards Choosing Joy

Below is a compilation of personal blog posts telling the story of my special horse and I, and the way we learned to trust together.  Please enjoy the stories and pictures.  Stay tuned for more posts telling about my more current experiences with horses, including a trip to this ranch just a month ago! 

Continue reading

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Rewind and Right Now: Lost Within Myself

I’m going to be honest here, thus week has been challenging.  Due to some unexpected recent events I have been experiencing PTSD.  I have been having some every similar emotions as expressed in the piece I wrote in mid-February if this past year.

Nothing makes me happy right now. Really truly happy. I smiled when I talked to Hannah on the phone, I chuckled at dance when Benny the dog was being silly.  But where is that complete feeling that I used to know? I used to feel full, but now I’m empty, and I’m not sure what will fill me up again.

Is Jesus enough? I sincerely believe that he is a God that can do all things, but does that mean that we depend on only him? Are those pills that I have learned to resent part of God’s will for me?

A woman that I look up to always tells me that “we are rulers of our own destiny.” I think there is truth in this, yet where does God’s sovereignty fit in? I want to have a successful life, I have dreams and goals. But I’m not there yet. I’m stuck in the here and now, where sleeping feels good, living takes work and God feels so far away.

When I can think clearly enough, these are the questions I am asking. Yet for the last few days (or weeks), thinking clearly is rare. My thoughts conflict, and stress comes rushing in like a whirlwind. I want help, I need something to change. I don’t know what that looks like, and I’m scared.

 My 18th birthday is quickly approaching, and I’m moving out this Saturday. This new freedom is something I have dreamed of for years, bu suddenly, its scary. Maybe that is normal? Maybe I just won’t know until I’m there.

Well, I have to be up and moving in six hours, so I should probably wrap up my rambling. Maybe this has done some good? Maybe I will awake with renewed energy and motivation? Somehow I doubt it. For now I will give in to sleep and hope for a better day tomorrow. Help me Jesus, I am lost within myself. Teach me to find myself in you. 

Thank you for reading my friends. Please don’t hesitate at all to send a prayer in my name! Please do! These are hard days, everything aches and hurts.

Blessings!

Categories: Preparing for Kona, Rewind, Right Now | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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