In Kona

Beach Tears – God is Still Faithful

 “But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one. “

2 Thessalonians 3:3

 

Its hard to believe its been over two weeks  since I arrive here in Kona.  I’m not going to tell you that every moment has been perfect. Like any week, there has been ups and downs.

I have a peace being here because I know that this is exactly where God wants me to be.  I have had tears these last few days because I know these six months aren’t going to be easy.

***

I sit on the beach, the sun kissing my pale skin.  I listen to the waves lapping up upon the dark grey sand, coming in and out like someones breath. Suddenly tears well up in my eyes as I go back to a different day in my mind.  The day was the last day of this past March . At this time I was sinking in a deep depression. Every little thing took effort; tears were many, smiles were few.  My sisters and dad had planned a trip to the beach with some friends at the end of spring break, and almost reluctantly I decided to go with them. My dad was thrilled, since I hadn’t been doing much of anything other than sleeping and crying. I was exhausted the entire trip to the beach.  I slept most of the way there and back in the car, and just lay on the beach most of the time we were there.  I watched my sisters have a grand time with their friends, and I cried because I wished I could find that happiness to be like them.  Tears trickle down my face as I come back to reality.  I am just starting to realize what I have got myself in to.  This is not simply a vacation or camp.  I have a long road ahead of me, I am far away from anything I have ever called home and I won’t be going home any time soon.  I am scared and overwhelmed.

***

I has been almost a week since my tears on the beach.  I have come a long way this week.  The lecture topic for the week was the  Father heart of God.  Early on in the week we were told to ask God which of his characteristics he wanted us to focus on.  Almost immediately God put on my heart how he is faithful.  He is the same day after day, always loving and pursuing me, even when I don’t feel it.  As alone as I might feel, he is with me, holding my hand.  This has been a comfort to me this week.  I know God doesn’t  promise that life with him will be easy.  On the contrary, he acknowledges that there will be struggles.  But he promises to be with me always.  There have been many tears this week, but I think that’s OK.  I have a lot to adjust to but I have a faithful God to help me.

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In Kona: He Restores My Soul

“He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

 He restores my soul.”

Psalm 23:2-3

My dear friends,

After over a year of anticipation, I am here in Kona!  It truly is beautiful here!  I couldn’t have asked for a smoother trip here yesterday.  Since it was my first time flying alone, I was fairly nervous, but the Lord sent me such wonderful signs that he was with me.  One of my fellow students in my program was on my plane, and I got a window see on the plane next to a very kind christian couple.  When I got off the plane, immediately there were people from YWAM there to help me!

Today is my first full day here, it is going well.  It rained hard this morning, but unlike the familiar icy cold rain found in my home in Portland, this rain was warm; full of life.  This rain felt good.  It started raining when we all gathered at the Plaza of Nations; all the new students uniting for the first time.  It rained all during our morning welcoming ceremony and orientation, then the rain lifted just as we were finishing worship and praying together.  It was as if the Lord was looking down at us and saying through the rain “I see you all gathering here in my name. I bless you all, keep doing what you are doing.”

I feel so at peace about being here.  God has made is unmistakably clear to me that this is where I need to be at this time in my life.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t feel scared or restless; that doesn’t mean that it is going to be easy.  The opposite actually, I know this will be very hard sometimes.  But I know that this is what God wants me to be doing, so it will be more than worth it.  I am doing my best to get rid of my expectations about these next six months.  I am trying to put aside my priorities, and make connecting with God my main priority.

When we arrived at the base, each of the students in my program was given a gift bag, with a card in it from our leaders.  In my card, I was given the word “restoration,” and the verse above: Psalm 23:2-3.  I have a hope that the Lord will restore my soul while I am here; I am going to do my best to be open to him, give him every opportunity to do so.

Plaque in the Plaza of Nations

Plaque in the Plaza of Nations

Gathering in the Plaza of Nations; right before the rain started

Gathering in the Plaza of Nations; right before the rain started

YWAM Motto: "To know God..."

YWAM Motto: “To know God…”

"...and make him known"

“…and make him known”

Thank you for reading! Please don’t hesitate to subscribe to my posts by email and check out my Go Fund Me page for updates on my funding.  I am going to try to be posting often with pictures and updates on what I’m doing and learning.  God bless you all!

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