I was raised by parents who love the Lord and I attended church at a young age. I have a faint memory of being in Sunday school as a four year old and during worship. I prayed silently by myself asking Jesus to “come into my heart.” I know that I told a leader after the service who told my parents and gave me a little children’s “new christian” packet. Throughout my elementary school years, I think I believed and loved Jesus as much as one at that age can understand. I was baptized at Rolling Hills Community Church at age seven by my dad. It was my choice and idea, but I think the decision to be baptized mostly stemmed from the thought that it was the right and typical thing to do.
Skip forward to my 7th grade year. I had transitioned from smart, confident 6th grader with lots of friends to a confused, insecure 7th grader with few friends. In the fall I became newly acquainted with sorrow when a peer died and our live-in grandmother almost died. Shortly before my 13th birthday, our family (all except my dad) and close family friends attended a family therapy camp through
Good Samaritan Ministries. While I was there I was re-baptized with water from the Jordan River. I understood so much more the what it means to follow Jesus with all of my being. It was a turning point for me. Little did I know that the trials were just beginning.
In the past few years, there have been many people and events that have radically shaped my walk with Christ. I have been to Gleanings For The Hungry, the YWAM base in Dinuba, CA three times, each time have new healing and insight into what it is to walk with Christ. I have participated in therapy-like horse riding sessions including with founder and author Kim Meeder at Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch in Bend, OR, has been pivotal in my christian walk. I have learned a lot from the sermons at Solid Rock Church, studying the bible both theologically and practically. I have been blessed to have many friends with different strengths of Christianity pour into my life.
Naturally I have gone through many stages in my christian walk. This past winter and spring I had a really hard time feeling close to the Lord. It felt as if there was a wall of ice separating God from me. It felt as if I would never feel God’s love again. During this time my mom would read to me from Hind’s Feet on High Places and I would read Beside Still Waters to myself and It reminded me that I was not alone and that God was watching over me and had my best in mind. At this time there still seems to be a wall, but it is melting. Worshiping comes more naturally, and I’m feeling deeper again. I hope and pray that my wall continues to melt. I want to know God deeper, so that every aspect of life reflects Christ.