This morning I got a letter from a distant relative who read my most recent blog post Rewind and Right Now: Lost Within Myself. They are true, honest words, and I offer them here for whoever they may speak to, not just me. Read and receive, my friends.
Also, I have added a new category to my blog entitled Right Now, which will include posts like this one, which do not directly relate to my trip. I do think it is helpful to talk about these sorts of issues before my trip however, for I will need to know how to deal with it when it inevitably comes up while I am in Kona or on outreach.
“Oh my dear Heather, you don’t realize what a precious soul you are. It probably doesn’t help to have some distant relative say that you are not alone; you are very loved. But as one who has lived in hopeless hell for years, I have to speak. Your emotions know that are taking a huge step, and IT IS scary. If I can offer just one piece of advice, please don’t decide that you are letting anyone down by feeling your emotions. Unless they start to damage you, it’s OK to acknowledge and embrace them. God put them there, and without them, we would be very shallow people. Your pain today will give you deep insights into the hurting people you will meet. I know these words won’t stop the pain. Funny thing about strong negative emotions is they won’t won’t let you feel the love and support we want to give you. PS You are FAR more in touch with your inner feelings than most folks who do this kind of thing. It’s pure terror now, but as distant third party, I’m actually excited to see the person you will be in a year or two from now.”
We are not alone friends, no matter how alone we feel. God is with us, and we all have at least one person who loves us. That’s what I’m holding on to tonight.